The OkCupid Exhibit

I like to think that I'm really good at being single. Don't get me wrong, like any other person with basic human emotions, I'd love to be in a relationship. But... dating is the worst. You would think that as I get older, I'd start to be a bit more flexible. Loneliness is motivation enough to lower your standards, right? I'm not even like a girl in her PJs and 5 cats on the weekend. I meet guys and I go on a lot of dates. I actually try to "put-myself-out-there" or be "open to possibilities" or whatever other cliché state-of-being we single ladies mind-fuck within ourselves. I guess I'm just really an A+ student in Singles AP, but I have to give credit where it is due. I haven't done all the work for my impending doom to spinsterhood. If anything... you boys really have made my job easier.

In lieu of writing run-on sentences about my plea for chivalry's return, I'm going to go ahead and just exploit messages I've received in the past on popular dating site, OkCupid. I'm even going to edit out their names and faces, 'cause I'm selfless like that.

1. "Missed Connection"

Is there a right or wrong answer?

 2. "Ready or Not"

I don't even... know what he just said.

3. "Dirty Talk"

Quite the Shakespeare..

4. "Points for Creativity"

I want to see David use this at the bar.

5. "Can't Buy Me Love"

For the record, he's sent me this message four other times.

You see where I'm going with this? THIS is the dating scene. The worst is when I get a follow-up message, "Least you could do is respond. I don't bite." What these guys don't realize is... I'm actually doing them a favor by not responding. Believe me, I love messing with people. I have had to practice an incredible amount of self-control to not respond with some smart-ass remark. It's like a new type of meditation. The mantra? "Be patient, grasshopper. These mortals do not deserve your effort. Swallow the fury."

I thought if I had an extremely zen approach, I'd just karmically receive something back. That hasn't happened yet, so I've tossed out peaceful apathy and decided to start using my dick. Literally.


*Bonus: "The Rebuttal"

Oh no, I "forgot" to blur out his face and username. 

it's all greek to jee

Photo by Jee Young Han. She didn't even Instagram it. Yet.

I love avgolemono. I believe in Nia Vardalos. And I pronounce "hummus" with a hard chet.

After staring at my fridge for some culinary inspiration, it dawned on me that I've never tried cooking anything Greek. And no, peeling back the plastic wrap from the Sabra hummus container doesn't count as cooking. 

I threw three frozen chicken breasts in the microwave to defrost, grabbed my mixing bowl, and got creative for lunch.

"It's-All-Greek-To-Jee" Chicken

Serves: Probably 3, but I ate all of it.

Ingredients:

-3 chicken breasts, fresh or defrosted (who gives a shit)

Marinade:

-1 cup of Greek yogurt (I used Fage 0%)

-1/2 lemon (My garden has a lemon tree bearing some chubby babies so you're welcome to use one small lemon. 1/2 was more than enough for this batch.)

-2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

-6 garlic cloves, minced

-1/2 cup mint leaves (I have a mint plant and actually just eyeballed a handful)

-1 tsp. oregano

-1 tsp. parsley

-1 tsp. dill weed

-1 tsp. salt

-1 tsp. cracked pepper

Instructions:

-Throw all the marinade ingredients into a big bowl.
-Squeeze the lemon juice over the marinade, zest the skin, and throw the lemon back in. (When life gives you lemons, DON'T FORGET TO ZEST!)

-Dice chicken into 3/4" cubes, add to marinade

-Mix that shit.

-Throw all the ingredients in a plastic bag. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

-Bake for 50 minutes at 375 degrees and OPA!


Side Salad Recommendation (It was pretty bomb):
-1/2 cup spinach
-1/2 cup arugula

-1/2 avocado, diced

-2 tbsp. dressing of choice (I'm a big fan of Fresh and Easy's Lemon-Dill Vinaigrette)

-black truffle salt*, to taste

Instructions: Mix it. Do I really need to tell you how to make a salad?

*I am really passionate about black truffle salt. I sprinkle it on everything. Black truffle salt makes everything better. I sprinkle it on salads, pasta... hell, I even sprinkle it on my ear before I make out with a guy. 

ENJOY!

xoxo,
Jee.

popping the cherry.

I am a proud member of the Xanga generation.

My username was idiot_savant. (I did an A+ presentation on oxymorons and onomatopoeia during English Honors my freshman year, so I never stopped proudly inserting said figures of speech into everyday conversation such as: "And then my plastic glasses SNAPPED!" *shifts eyes* *smug smile*) 

Xanga was an outlet for all my unfiltered (and highly dramatic) accounts of every little event that happened in high school. When I wasn't gabbing about the newest Harry Potter book or humblebragging about being cast in spring musicals, I'd make sure to write "shout-outs" to my best friends or post pictures of myself photoshopped with celebrities.

By the time I moved to NYC, I made sure to bury that blog. I deleted everything. I didn't want any of my new east coast friends to know anything about my high school life. I was pretty awkward and hopelessly dorky during my teenage years and I didn't want any of my new friends to see that part of me. 

I really wish I hadn't. It would've been pretty cool for me to be able to read 14 year-old Jee's exciting fairy tale about Homecoming. Just as you get that wave of nostalgia while you're trying to translate that inside joke your friend scribbled in your yearbook, it would've been interesting to read my illustrious run-on arguments for why "Lose My Breath" was the best Destiny's Child song ever on the radio. 

That being said, this is my present platform. The Jee Spot. Here is where I will write haikus, post a trial-and-error recipe, and vent about society's aversion to gluten. 

I don't know what I'll write, but I do know that I will indeed... write. 

You know that moment you finally decide you're going to "try yoga," but it's important for you to go to lululemon and spend $150 on your "I'm gonna do yoga" ensemble? Who am I kidding? $200.

Well, I did that. Sort of. I spent 3 minutes on a fancy logo for my blog. Now that it's official, I have no excuses. I have to write.

Floral print, property of Jet Martinez.

So welcome to my world. And no, I will not (probably not) write about sexual endeavors though my name says otherwise. The title is just a fun play of my name that I felt would've been bold enough to catch the attention of our highly-sexualized generation.

xoxo,
Jee.